“God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of "parties" with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear…the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
This series has become a reflection of my own struggle with being a shy introvert who seeks connection, yet more often hides or "puts on" what I think others want of me. Anxious, self-conscious, awkward. I have made literal our societal programming to pack away those "unappealing" qualities, felt by many but hidden. In our cultural history, the person with the bigger personality and the biggest mouth is often the most prized. They are the squeaky wheel that gets greased. Those who struggle with expressing their thoughts and feelings are told they are not good enough. Or, more tragically, they are simply ignored. The "less thans", must box away our fragile hearts, affix the correct face, and head out to try and be noticed.
Unique 12x12 Wetplate Tintype
Her fragile heart would not be handled with such ham-handedness again.
In that moment he reacted with complete honesty, maybe for the first time.
He hid his feelings behind a mask of his own making.
She held onto her hope like a life preserver.
He would never be interested in me.
She was the smartest one in the room, but she couldn't show it.
Even sleep provided no rest.
The words just never seem to come out right.
“They will never find me here…”she repeated to herself over and over again.
He had always relied greatly on his looks to get noticed…
It was all in his head.
This is what I will share of me and nothing more.
She stood before him, open, vulnerable, waiting for some sign of understanding.
His heart beat so hard, the sound of it drowned out the noise of the crowd around him.
She couldn’t remember when it became her against them…
Her spot in the self-help aisle was free.
The tornado of negative voices in her head was carrying her far, far away.
Skin deep was as deep as they wanted to go.
Wants love but will settle for sex.
It would be so easy to crawl back into my shell.
I feel separate, removed from everyone else.
She envied his "come as it may" attitude.
The bell rings and she comes out swinging.
Just one more and I'll be good.
So tired of trying to be that for you.
I am in control. (Diptych)
I must be strong.
Too tired to let go.
Not the real me.
Does anyone else stuggle with wanting to be seen but always feeling watched?
So tired of being alone.
I am saving myself.
Must we always play these games?
Barely holding it together.
You only love me when I'm drunk.
He couldn't find a balance.
"It's now or never," he thought, took a deep breath and opened the door.
Born from an appreciation for the strength of the male form, Man, Gods and Other Myths explores its classic beauty through the stories and characters of our past. Striving to capture the essence of the subject, the scenes are simple and direct. The ethereal quality of the wet-plate process combined with the statuesque formality of the subjects recalls the Greek concept of kouros: a vision of ideal beauty, piety, honor or sacrifice. Embodiments of the gods made manifest in flesh. These are glimpses of modern men before us, but also a mythologizing of all men through time.
Son of Dionysus
Resurrection of Osiris
Orchid of Potency
Adam & Eve (Dyptic- Two Ambrotypes and One Tintype)
Aphrodite (Three Ambrotypes)
Aphrodite (Deconstructed- Three Ambrotypes)
St. Sebastian (Two Ambrotypes)
The Wrestlers (Two Ambrotypes)
Perseus (Two Ambrotypes and One Tintype)
SOLD Eros (One Ambro Type and One Tintype)
The human body is beautiful… It is hard and soft, it has elegant lines, and it has the ability to convey emotion without words. I strive to capture those emotions — strength, vulnerability, loneliness — through my male subjects. Everywhere, I fell our society's anxiety about our bodies, a shame with a stranglehold upon us since the beginning of time. From the parable of Adam hiding his nakedness with the nature around him, to you and me doing the same with fabric. What is our relationship with those things that hide our mortification? Is that relationship affording us freedom, or subtly programing a deeper discomfort? What makes it so ingrained in the human experience? In this series I use a clean and classic style to lay bare "ideal" people experiencing emotions about their bodies just as each of us does. I wanted images that viewers can experience without feeling shocked or assaulted…to draw them in and start a conversation with them…first about their feelings on someone else's nakedness and then about their own relationship to their own.